Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Tuesday Bonus: You Be the Judge

Someone once told me that women can't be assholes, only bitches.

Last night, Old Dog and I were sharing war stories about our Mondays.

"Rough days affect everyone differently," I said. I pointed to that ridge of muscles that run from the shoulders to the neck. "It gets me right here."

He kissed me on the top of the head and began massaging my stiff muscles.

"Whereas," I continued, "it apparently gets you right in the armpits."

(I emphatically deny being a bitch on that one.

I will, however, cop to asshole.

BTW -- Don't start feeling sorry for him. He then thrust my head into his armpit and held it there for 30 seconds. I may have to amputate my nose.)

19 comments:

Jan said...

Eeeewwwwwww!

K said...

I totally think woman can be assholes.

But I also think man can be bitches.

Kabbalah Rookie said...

This is a prime example of why I would hold back on the 'asshole' observations... until the neck massage is over!!!

Lyndsay said...

Craig and I have similar arguments. I hold firm that having to use my BRAIN that much during a workday is as exhausting (if not more) than the physical labor he does.

He does not see my point, ever ... which usual leaves me acting like an asshole.

Chef E said...

*chuckling* Oh I had a girl that worked for me once, btw TMI, she told me that her husband would start to do that then pull her head down to his lap and well you can guess...so I would revert to asshole in any case if needed!

Yes lass, we are of the same celtic blood...my three uncles, the Akins traveled over and ventured from PA to Texas for the land rush and became oil tycoons, I only now receive a few pennies of that, but retain the fun loving, adventure seeking, wee whisky drinking, and no cares of any kind Irish attitude...

Comedy Goddess said...

My gal pals and I agreed that only the bitchy girls landed great guys to marry. Which is probably why I didn't marry a great guy. Wait.Does that make me an asshole and not a bitch? yikes!

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

That is freakin' hilarious!

Belle said...

My husband is a total bitch.

Joie de vivre said...

thanks for the chuckle!

CDB said...

This is SUCH a sweet little gem of a moment. (: My husband has the same.. stress point.

I'm with K on this one!

buffalodick said...

"Bitches ultimately get an untreated arm pit in the face"... That will be written on obelisks for archaeologists to find in the future..
This is a quote by the past cruise director of the planet Earth, current holder of "Asshole of the Year" award...Me!

HoodChick said...

I'm probably 50% asshole, 50% bitch.

Debbie said...

No, you weren't being either. Honesty doesn't count:)

Sandra Leigh said...

I thought your story was hilarious, but my husband scowled when I read it to him. Go figure. ;>)

anymommy said...

I'm with K, that delightfulness goes both ways. You, on the other hand, are practically perfect in every way.

Mammatalk said...

You always make me giggle!

ladyfi said...

LOL! Too funny!

High Desert Diva said...

Ha, ha, ha!

Lilly said...

He he, too funny! Yes, you are a bitch, an hilariously perfect one so all has to be forgiven..

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