Not sure what brought this to mind, but it cracks me up, and I figured since you're all pretty twisted, you'd enjoy it, too.
Years ago, when I worked at the local community college, there was a blind student and her guide dog who HATED each other.
The girl was always yelling at the dog. Well, not really yelling, but hissing at it under her breath that it was stupid, and a screw-up.
The reason I knew their feelings were mutual was that whenever the dog would take her around a corner, he'd shave it so close that she'd slam into the wall. And when she was half-way through a door, he'd jog to the side, so that she would run into the doorframe.
So she'd hiss at the dog some more, and it would stand there and patiently take the abuse.
And then, the next time he got the chance, he'd walk her into something else.
Consider it a trade-off for Wednesday's post....
Friday, November 20, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Blog Success Story
Elizabeth Stelling, aka Chef E, author of seven (this woman is seriously demented) blogs, including TMI and Food Poetry, has been recruited by KGNU, out of Boulder, Colorado to read her poetry on their "Crops to Cuisine" show.
To hear her maiden performance, go to the KGNU schedule, and select the "Metro" listing at 3 p.m. on Monday, November 16 from the calendar. E's reading occurs about 15 minutes in.
And you wanna know what the coolest part is?
They found her through her blog!
(How great would it be if Blog Success Story became a recurring feature here?)
Congratulations, Elizabeth!
To hear her maiden performance, go to the KGNU schedule, and select the "Metro" listing at 3 p.m. on Monday, November 16 from the calendar. E's reading occurs about 15 minutes in.
And you wanna know what the coolest part is?
They found her through her blog!
(How great would it be if Blog Success Story became a recurring feature here?)
Congratulations, Elizabeth!
Monday, November 16, 2009
My Little Town: 17 Bumper Stickers
On the way to work the other day, I followed this pickup truck.
Most of his bumper stickers weren't memorable, but two caught my attention. The first said:
Rosie O'Donnell American
Jane Fonda Traitor
Cindy Sheehan Bitches
and I thought, Cindy Sheehan? Really? Because it seemed a little harsh to lump a woman who lost her son and wanted to understand why with a pair of celebrities who had no real skin in the game.
The second one said:
I Didn't Claw My Way to the Top of the Food Chain to Eat Vegetables
Which is actually kind of funny, but it left me wondering:
Is there any correlation between people's political beliefs and their risk of hypertension?
Most of his bumper stickers weren't memorable, but two caught my attention. The first said:
Rosie O'Donnell American
Jane Fonda Traitor
Cindy Sheehan Bitches
and I thought, Cindy Sheehan? Really? Because it seemed a little harsh to lump a woman who lost her son and wanted to understand why with a pair of celebrities who had no real skin in the game.
The second one said:
I Didn't Claw My Way to the Top of the Food Chain to Eat Vegetables
Which is actually kind of funny, but it left me wondering:
Is there any correlation between people's political beliefs and their risk of hypertension?
Friday, November 13, 2009
Fiction Friday on Hiatus: Old Joke #23
(Fiction Friday is on sabbatical until NaNoWriMo is over.)
In its place, an old joke I found lying around:
A young bride and groom are undressing on their wedding night when the bride notices that her new husband has very odd-looking knees.
"What happened?" she asks.
"I had the kneesles," he says.
"Don't you mean measles?"
"No," he said, "kneesles."
Next, he takes of his shirt and she notices he has lumps all over his torso. She again asks what happened.
"I had the lumps," he says.
"Don't you mean mumps?" she asks.
"No, the lumps."
Finally, he takes off his shorts.
"Don't tell me," she says. "Small cox?"
(Sorry, guys! Humor is a harsh mistress.)
In its place, an old joke I found lying around:
A young bride and groom are undressing on their wedding night when the bride notices that her new husband has very odd-looking knees.
"What happened?" she asks.
"I had the kneesles," he says.
"Don't you mean measles?"
"No," he said, "kneesles."
Next, he takes of his shirt and she notices he has lumps all over his torso. She again asks what happened.
"I had the lumps," he says.
"Don't you mean mumps?" she asks.
"No, the lumps."
Finally, he takes off his shorts.
"Don't tell me," she says. "Small cox?"
(Sorry, guys! Humor is a harsh mistress.)
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
A Raisin Chronicles First: NaNoWriMo Pool
The working title of my work-in-progress is At the Seams. It is about a middle-aged woman whose life is coming apart at the aforementioned seams. Here's the first paragraph:
Looking back, I place the blame for the whole debacle squarely where it belongs: on the AARP. If they weren’t so stinking efficient, delivering their welcome to Old Fartdom precisely on my fiftieth birthday, the exact same day the nude picture of my daughter arrived in the mail, things might have turned out differently.
This is my 5th novel. From those prior efforts, I know that my normal approach is to write slowly, putting in a bunch of crap that has to be edited out later, but lets me get to know my characters really well. And to write myself down a lot of blind alleys and then throw all that away, too.
This time I was hoping to break the over-writing habit and be a little more efficient, but, prior to NaNoWriMo I'd been working on it since April, and had only about 18,000 words written. (It should wind up somewhere around 80,000.) It was pretty clear I'd fallen into my old routine.
So I signed up.
How is it going?
Today is November 9th, and, to date, I've added 4000 words. Which means I'm already 9300 words behind.
But have I given up?
No!
I'm still convinced I can make this work. I've spent the first few days reviewing my character motivation analysis. Since they drive the plot, once I get them finished, I figure I can write like the wind and still slide in with my (additional) 50,000 words written.
In the interest of keeping this blog interactive, I'm asking you, in the comments, to select a number of words that you believe I will complete this month. The closest guess will receive a $10 Target gift card.
Just in time for Christmas!
Looking back, I place the blame for the whole debacle squarely where it belongs: on the AARP. If they weren’t so stinking efficient, delivering their welcome to Old Fartdom precisely on my fiftieth birthday, the exact same day the nude picture of my daughter arrived in the mail, things might have turned out differently.
This is my 5th novel. From those prior efforts, I know that my normal approach is to write slowly, putting in a bunch of crap that has to be edited out later, but lets me get to know my characters really well. And to write myself down a lot of blind alleys and then throw all that away, too.
This time I was hoping to break the over-writing habit and be a little more efficient, but, prior to NaNoWriMo I'd been working on it since April, and had only about 18,000 words written. (It should wind up somewhere around 80,000.) It was pretty clear I'd fallen into my old routine.
So I signed up.
How is it going?
Today is November 9th, and, to date, I've added 4000 words. Which means I'm already 9300 words behind.
But have I given up?
No!
I'm still convinced I can make this work. I've spent the first few days reviewing my character motivation analysis. Since they drive the plot, once I get them finished, I figure I can write like the wind and still slide in with my (additional) 50,000 words written.
In the interest of keeping this blog interactive, I'm asking you, in the comments, to select a number of words that you believe I will complete this month. The closest guess will receive a $10 Target gift card.
Just in time for Christmas!
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