Saturday, January 10, 2009

Oversharing - Part 2

Today, inspired by K’s post on Facebook’s stance on breastfeeding as a photo op, I promised to share another example of too-much-information from the dusty archives of my work past.

(Okay, I promised two examples, but I try to keep these posts under 500 words, so I’m saving one for tomorrow. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I spend upwards of two hours a day perusing blogs. Since I returned to work, crispness is something I’ve learned to appreciate.)

In the late 70’s, a girl in our office attended sex therapy classes with her husband. After every class she’d come in the next morning and give us a play-by-play of what they’d learned.

This was the group that included Stan, who, predictably, made it a point to be out of earshot when the update occurred, and Tom, who, equally predictably, made it a point to listen and poke fun. Not the least because half-a-dozen classes cost something like $1500 (adjusted for inflation, $5000 today).

The content was mostly what you’d think of as common sense – spending more time on foreplay, dealing with ticklishness, getting to know each other’s preferences. What made the whole thing so funny was the innocent zest with which she approached the experience.

“They said to put pillows on the floor and try doing it right in your living room!”

“They said we can take turns controlling how fast or how slow we want to go!”

One day she came in and enumerated the erogenous zones for us. (Had all the erogenous zones even been discovered by the late 1970’s? I know they hadn’t been in my house.)

My favorite recollection is the day she came in, wide-eyed, and told us about a film they’d seen the previous evening on masturbation.

“I think it was Dr. Perkins’ hands in the film,” she said. “I recognized his freckles!”

The hilarious thing was that she completely didn’t seem to absorb the fact that, by extension, this meant that it was also Dr. P’s penis in the film.

I don’t recall what wisecracks Tom made at the time, but I do recall what he had to say three months later, when she announced that she was pregnant.

“Well, looks like it was worth the money,” he said. “At least they know what they’re doing now.”

Tomorrow: A Vasectomy Gone Awry.

15 comments:

  1. well they do say that practice makes perfect....

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  2. I would have thought that in the late 70's everyone was still in the stupor of too much sex drugs and rock and roll. I guess that was just in my part of the universe.

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  3. I love it...She sounds like a gem!
    My daughter, who is 25 and I watched Oprah together yesterday and it was all about sex. I loved that she and I were comfortable together while it all played out. My Mom and I still couldn't do that!

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  4. A girl came to me once and ask if I had any advice...I said just watch TV and you will learn all you need to know...kidding...I love how your story plays out...I can just see the flicker in her eyes, the hand and the penis! Ha this is so darn funny...now I get to play out being in an office with you...

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  5. I thought everyone in the seventies got a copy of "Everthing You Wanted To know About Sex, But Were Afraid To Ask" for a shower or wedding present...

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  6. Ha, Ha, thanks for that, reminds me of a pal who used to do the same thing, loved her but, sometimes its just too much info!

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  7. Cute story! Some people never connect the dots:)

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  8. LOL!!

    That was so damn funny!!!

    And Dr. P.???? That creeps me out just a bit....

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  9. Wow.

    That is the most impressive over sharing I think I've ever heard about.

    Great story.

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  10. Wait, you can do it on the kitchen floor?

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  11. Wait, you can do it on the kitchen floor?

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  12. That is too funny...I love those who are completely naive and "life" virgins...they crack me up....stopping by with some SITS love

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  13. LOL! That's hilarious. Stopped in from SITS to say hi!

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  14. Funny what you said about the time you spend reading blogs. Thought I was the only one spending all that time. I sit down to watch TV and check just one blog on my phone and two hours later its time for bed. Better than a bedtime story. I am such a compulsive reader. I am afraid I am going to miss something good!

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  15. Oh gosh hilarious. I love these innocent types of people and I hope she stayed that way. She has probably has 14 kids now!!!!

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