Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Toddler Transsexualism

(Figure that title will get me a hit or two....)

Last week, my daughter-out-law was bathing her three-year-old daughter.

"When I grow up," said Harper, "I'm going to be a boy, like Phinn."

"No, you're not," said Mom. "You're a girl."

Harper considered this.

"Phinn has a penis," she announced. (According to my daughter, this is a favorite topic of conversation at their house.)

"Yes, he does," agreed Mom.

"And I have a vagina."


"But when I get big, I'm going to have a penis, like Phinn's."

(Somewhere, Sigmund Freud is rubbing his hands together in glee.)

"No," said Mom. "You're a girl. Boys have penises and girls have vaginas. You'll always have a vagina."

Harper was outraged.

"I will not! It will grow!"

You see, Harper's best friend at pre-school is a little boy named Vince. And when Vince plays with the other little boys, they have a rule: "No girls."

It kind of reminds me of that episode from the Little Rascals where the boys formed the He-Man Woman Haters' Club.

Except I don't remember Darla threatening to grow a penis....


  1. Well, the day is waning, and I suppose you are sitting on the bank, holding a cane pole between your knees, eyes half shut, waiting for someone to nibble on your bait.

    When that turkey drug starts making me drift off to the sound of family banter Thursday afternoon, I'll be proud that I didn't take yer bait and post my feelings about "Toddler Transsexualism." Fun visuals, but you are very very cagey. Happy Thanksgiving!

  2. This is the girl who thinks you're Fagin, right...? :)

  3. She's quite strong minded and that's the way to go.

  4. I guess all toddlers (or nearly all) go through a time of being obsessed with penises and vaginas; it's part of figuring out their identity. But when I was young, we weren't given the vocabulary for it, and in fact I think we were shushed if we tried to talk about it. How times change! For one thing, we get lots more funny stories these days. Happy Thanksgiving!

  5. Oh, good heavens, the idea of trying to grow a penis makes me tired.

    But it also makes me laugh.

    Happy Thanksgiving!



  6. This is the child that committed the robbery?...she must make you smile all the time:)

  7. Oh that is a funny and the title got more than a few!

    Knowing your humor and story telling abilities I knew it would be a good one! And as usual Steven G gave his funny two cent cane pole visual :)


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