Saturday, June 11, 2011

Much Ado about Weiners

The whole Anthony Weiner drama over the past few weeks brought up some interesting recollections for me.

Once, at a bar in Minnesota, a biker who (reportedly) had his guy-stuff pierced in various fascinating ways, with little gold chains running hither, thither and yon, offered to display said jewelry (or would that be jewels?) to all the ladies present.

Another time, a drunken bowler made an elephant by turning the pockets of his jeans inside out to make ears, and making a trunk from...well, you get the picture.

And who can forget the guy I worked with who brought in the Polaroids of his botched vasectomy?

All of this has left me with the impression that men believe that women get the same thrill from looking at men's genitals that men receive from viewing women's.

To this may I say, "Non, non, mon cher."

(At this point, I'd like to offer a disclaimer: I have worked with a lot of wonderful men over the years who showed no signs of sharing this peculiar belief.)

To those that do, however, I would like to offer this suggestion. If exhibiting your junk seems like something you need to do, how about getting ID badges made up? Instead of having a picture of your face, it could display your penis. We could create a template for this ID that includes a ruler along one side (in inches or centimeters, your choice) that would allow the ladies to readily perceive what value, if any, you have to offer along those lines.

Or does that feel a little icky?

Like, maybe, you're being judged on the size of one of your body parts? In a way that totally discounts your heart, brains, character and soul, and ignores whatever else you might bring to a relationship?

Well, from the bottom of the heart that beats inside my 36-not-quite-a-B chest, let me just say: Yeah, it does.


  1. i love this. right on!

    i think there have been much more explicit Hanes ads. weinergate isn't really packing much.

  2. This a very quiet group today.

    I guess when Miss Raisy trains her laser wit on the male appendage, all we can do is shrivel up and run! I am curious, though, to know how she was dressed at the bowling alleys and bars. She must have some special body language that attracts the favors of certain types of men.

  3. Every time I hear the word weiner on the news I giggle. Even my four year old knows what they're talking about. How about Weinerbook instead of Facebook??

  4. Lady, you had me at "drunk bowler." ;-)

    And, yes, enough with the weiners already. Sheesh!

    Thanks, btw, for your sweet congratulatory comment on my blog - I truly appreciate that!

    Have a great day and chat with you soon...

    :-}) Anna

  5. It is a weiner kind of world..those Politicians cannot keep their teeny tiny weiners in their pants. Anthony Weiner is just a joke..what an idiot. I bet even his unborn child is embarrassed:)

  6. Just had to Tweet this--that's how much I love it.

  7. I will never look at a hot dog the same way again...

  8. ha. i think that having an ID bearing ones 'junk' strikes fear in the heart of many a


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