Sunday, April 17, 2011

C-PAP--Part 2: The Answer



I hate throwing away food. I'll do it, but it needs to be for a good reason, like being past its expiration date, or visible mold. And the container of asparagus soup in the freezer wasn't bad. In fact, on the Saturday I made it, it was delicious.

Just a little hard to digest.

By which I mean, both Old Dog and I wound up with, um, disturbances, that were, fortunately, gone by the time we returned to work on Monday.

I knew I should throw the leftovers away, that the Rubbermaid bowl in the freezer would be a constant temptation, but because I grew when children in Bangladesh were starving, I couldn't make myself do it.

"Take me!" the soup would whisper each time I opened the freezer door in search of something to take for lunch. "I'm delicious."

But I live in cubicle village at work, and, fearing what might happen, I resisted.

Right up until the Friday when the cafeteria was closed for spring break and all the other leftovers were gone.

We've all seen the footage from Japan, so I don't need to go into detail about what happens when a toxic substance breaches its containment device.

I will, however, tell you about the woman at work who wears scarves as an accessory. She doesn't fiddle with them, she just wears them. But that afternoon when she came to help me with a technical issue, she began to toy with the ends, and by the time she left my cube, she had the scarf wrapped across her nose.

I'm pretty sure she wanted to stuff then tassels up her nostrils, but was just too polite.

When I got home things were no better and that night, for the first time, Old Dog kept the C-PAP mask on all night.

Because it's all about motivation.

9 comments:

PurestGreen said...

hahaha! Asparagus. Love it and hate it. :)

Amelia said...

Bahahahaha!!! I'm so sorry I'm laughing at your pain, but I just can't help it! At least good did come of it. You can tell your husband he better love you seeing as you sacrificed your intestinal health for him. I have a huge problem with food wasting too, I always want to be a member of the clean plate club even if I'm not hungry for it. It's expensive and not everyone has that choice!! Ugh.

Pauline said...

Oh gosh, I feel for you. A couple of years ago I went through about two weeks with that problem but couldn't figure out the cause. I thought I was stuck with it for life! So glad yours was just a temporary problem. It was, wasn't it? :)

Far Side of Fifty said...

laughing:)

Georgina Dollface said...

Two very hilarious posts! For some reason, I have a gut made of steel and have built up a strong resistance to foods that have outlived their best-before dates. And if I had been Old Dog, I would have flipped you the bird too (and then laughed my head off). Those were great zingers! - G

SparkleFarkle said...

That Bazooka Joe's sidekick Mort-type at work sounds like a character Kristen Wiig should be doing on Saturday Night Live!

Still praying for Japan-ly,
SF~~~~~*

phil said...

Thank you for making me laugh!

Chef E said...

ha ha ha I just read Part 1, laughing, and now Part 2, and still laughing! Carpel tunnel from flipping the bird!

I feel your pain on all accounts. I sleep with a fan on because I just breathe loud, so loud I wake myself up. Hubby starts to snore, I have to get closer to the fan, but I feel him through pillow vibrations at times, but he will never go for the mask...maybe if I flip him off when he wants some lovin :)

Steven G said...

Now we know why Ozzie and Harriet slept in full pajamas and in separate beds. I'll bet they wore earplugs too. As long as I live, I'll never understand how my parents survived all those hot summer nights sleeping together in a double bed with no air conditioning. At least I finally figured out what the squeeking noise was every Saturday night after we all were sent to bed.

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