Sunday, January 30, 2011
Old Joke #43: Negative People
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser.
"Rome?" said the hairdresser. "I've never understood why would anyone want to go to such a crowded, dirty place. How are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental," said the woman. "We got a great rate!"
"Continental?" said the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late." She shakes her head. "Where are you staying in Rome?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place on the Tiber River called Teste."
"I know that place," said the hairdresser. "Everybody thinks it’s gonna be something special, but it's a dump."
"Anyway, we're going to go to see the Vatican. Maybe we'll get to see the Pope."
"That's rich," said the hairdresser. “You and a million other people. He'll look the size of an ant." As she removed the cape from the customer, she added, "Good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
A month later, the customer returned and the hairdresser asked her about her trip.
"It was wonderful!" said the woman. "Not only were we in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked. They bumped us up to first class and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky. As we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and said that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
And sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."
"Oh, really! What'd he say?"
"He said, 'Who fucked up your hair?'"