Sunday, August 22, 2010

Rapture Insurance, Raisin Style

This insurance is designed to take care of your pets, etc. after you've been whisked away to live in the clouds. It costs $110.00 for a single pet at a single address and $15.00 for additional pets at that address.

If you're interested, you can check it out at Eternal Earthbound Pets.com.

Another alternative is to make friends with an atheist.

Of which I have a few.

I won't name them, since a recent survey showed most Americans rank atheists below homosexuals on an acceptability scale (and we hate gays so much we won't even let them get married because, I suppose, we're afraid they'll reproduce), but you atheists know who you are.

So, anonymous atheist friends, if I suddenly disappear, would you take care of Abby and Emmy, please?

(Note: Technically speaking, #5 is an agnostic view. And here's what Life of Pi says about agnostics:

"I can well imagine an atheist's last words: "White, white! L-L-Love! My God!"--and the deathbed leap of faith. Whereas the agnostic, if he stays true to his reasonable self, if he stays beholden to dry, yeastless factuality, might try to explain the warm light bathing him by saying, "Possibly a f-f-failing oxygenation of the b-b-brain," and, to the very end, lack imagination and miss the better story.")

Coming Wednesday: I get grilled over at Grilled Grandmas.

Monday, August 2, 2010

The Rule of Twelve


We've all heard that the human brain can accommodate about seven pieces of data at any given time.

Well, according to Malcolm Gladwell, we're also set up to handle approximately twelve serious friendships/relationships. This is not only the number we appear to be biologically programmed for, it's also, sensibly, the number of people we can consistently spend time with.

If you doubt this, ask yourself: How many apostles were there?

Twelve.

Evidently Jesus agreed with Gladwell.

This rule of twelve seems completely reasonable to me, and it probably works pretty well for most folks.

My problem is:

1) I have 6 siblings and
2) I have 6 kids (plus a couple of really nice kids-in-law).

I'm already past the magic number, and we haven't even started on my 10 grandchildren yet. Not to mention numerous adorable nieces and nephews, cool aunts and uncles, and various friends.

After I read the Gladwell essay, I spent a little time with an Excel spreadsheet (always my favorite way to organize myself) doing a little exercise called "Who Are My Twelve?"

We won't go into who is and who isn't (because you never know who's going to be bored enough to check out my blog), but the way it worked out for me is that there are maybe 6 or 8 people who fit cleanly within my twelve and a butt-load more that should be there/could be there if only there were more hours in the day.

And what I do is take those remaining slots and peanut butter spread them across all my other loved ones. If there's a recipe for stress and guilt, I suspect it includes peanut butter.

So how about you?

Who are your twelve?

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