Monday, May 17, 2010
The Bare Facts
I saw my first and only strip show in October, 1974.
My husband turned 21 that month and some older friends decided he should celebrate by going to the Todd Burlesque on Brown Street. Although I legally couldn't get in, they decided I could probably slide by the ID check, and I did.
By now you know that I'm a huge fan of musicals, so it will be no surprise to you that my expectations were based on watching Gypsy.
Yeah, not so much.
Here are the things that I remember:
1) There were several opening acts (take that anyway you choose and you'll probably be correct), leading up to the headliner, Miss Nude Ohio.
2) One of the warm-ups looked really youthful, a fact she emphasized by wearing her hair in pigtails tied with pink yarn. Since I was 20 and looked about 14, I couldn't understand why anyone would think looking like a young teen was sexy.
Still don't, actually.
3) Another warm-up had a gimmick of taking the glasses of any guy who sat in the front row and sticking them down her g-string before returning them.
(Which, in turn, reminds me of the one and only time I saw a sword swallower, who did something similar, also taking a pair of glasses from an audience member, but instead shoving the ear-piece up his nose all the way to the hinges.)
Of both of these actions I say, YUCK!
4) There was one girl, who looked to be in her late 20's/early 30's, who danced to some Motown as she disrobed. Unfortunately, she didn't dance particularly well.
5) When Miss Nude Ohio finally took the stage, wearing little more than her banner, it quickly became clear why she was the star. She had skin like polished opal and more curves than a road race course. Her trick was to take the face of each of those first-row guys, place it between her ginormous breasts, and shake them till the guy would reel back to his seat, totally disoriented. The audience loved it.
A couple of years ago, a guy in my writers' group was doing (he said) research on strippers (did you know, for example, that the #1 most popular name for strippers is "Destiny"?) and tried to put together a field trip.
I couldn't get into though.
Some experiences are meant to be enjoyed only once.