Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The Trouble with Interns, Part 2

About halfway through the summer, I noticed that our bright young intern seemed harried. She held frequent, highly emotional, phone conversations and her productivity started to tail off. Although, as a manager, I prefer to allow people to come to me if they have a personal issue (because, let’s face it, the last thing anyone wants from their manager is help with their personal problems), it seemed appropriate to at least offer support, especially since I knew her parents were out of the country.

“It’s the Sheriff from West Lafayette,” she said. “He wants me to come to Indiana tomorrow and give a deposition.”

I blinked. “Deposition?”

“My parents left $40,000 with my uncle, in case I needed something,” she said. “And my boyfriend and I used it to buy a Jeep Cherokee.”

I’m usually pretty quick on the uptake, but I didn't understand why the Sheriff was interested in Rashmi’s latest automotive acquisition.

“My parents are very mad. They said they did not leave that money for me to buy a truck.”

Valid, but I couldn't see where the Sheriff came into it.

She continued. “Last week, you remember I was sick?”

I nodded.

“My mother wanted my boyfriend to stay with me, in case I got worse.”

Yeah, that didn’t help with the puzzle.

“We left the Jeep parked outside his apartment,” she said. “So we wouldn’t put any more miles on it, in case we had to take it back.”

Okay.

“A bank in West Lafayette was robbed, and the Sheriff says the bank’s security camera showed my Jeep.”

Suddenly, the full picture emerged.

“I told the Sheriff that my employer would not like me to miss work.”

I explained that the average corporation, given the choice between a lost employee work day and having the Sheriff show up in the lobby, would choose Option A every time.

She spent the next day in West Lafayette.

As it turned out, Rashmi was on her cell phone in Ohio at the time the bank was robbed, and her carrier’s records proved it. Soon after that, she returned to school to finish up her five majors, and we never did hear who borrowed the Jeep.

But to this day, when I'm offered an intern, I decline.

(Notice how I resist the urge to take a cheap shot at Bill Clinton? That's because I have discipline.)

15 comments:

Kabbalah Rookie said...

It sounds as though your Intern had very bad karma with cars. And brain cells set aside for common sense. Bless - they learn eventually. Just not on your watch, right? x

Dedene said...

When I read "intern" I thought of a young doctor! But I doubt that this intern is in medical school. She doesn't sound like she's too bright.
Hope she gets some common sense along the way.

Rachel Cotterill said...

That's quite a story! I wonder if someone really 'borrowed' her jeep or just copied the plates.

Middle Aged Woman said...

This poor girl sounds like a real train wreck. She is just the type of person who wonders why these things always happen to them.

Comedy Goddess said...

You never know who is going to show up in your office.

Or who your boyfriend's friend's really are.

Madtexter said...

Jeeez, some people just attract bad juju. And the worst are coworkers who constantly vocalize their 'whoa-as-me' stories.

I work with a lady who is always talking about her nerves, her fainting spells, how much she sees her psychologist. Good grief, it's like her problems make her feel like a star or something. She is completely defined by her 'problems'.

buffalodick said...

That is an interesting tale, to be sure! Jeep caught by Technology, girl vindicated by Technology...who'd a thunk?

Chef E said...

You totally had my attention here...

I was an intern for two years and got rave reviews, but no sheriffs ever involved...

Mammatalk said...

Wow. Ship the little thing back to her dorm. 40K? My God!!

King of New York Hacks said...

Dim bulb for sure.

Steven G said...

Madtexter, bad juju is right!

I love your line, " Good grief, it's like her problems make her feel like a star or something."

LMAO!!! I know so many people like that. Truth is most certainly stranger than fiction!

K said...

Holy cow. This girl is like a magnet for crazy.

Lilly said...

Oh you so do have discipline Jeanne. Poor girl indeed, I wonder what became of her...she will learn.

Jan said...

I was thinking intern like a doctor but figured out that you didn't mean that. Guess I'm a bit slow today.

anymommy said...

How does that happen? My interns were never this interesting.

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