Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Old Joke #14

A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1,000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.

Many people had tried over time (weightlifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it. One day a scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet."

After the laughter had died down, the bartender said okay, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.

As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1,000, and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weightlifter, or what?"

The man replied, "I work for the IRS."

Happy Tax Day!

20 comments:

  1. I love it.

    I hadn't heard this one before.

    Happy tax day to you too.

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  2. Jeanne, hope the IRS was kind to you this year. Our taxes come later on in the year, so I'm sympathizing vicariously.

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  3. happy tax day...totally oxymoronic. oh!! do I sound bitter??? Could have been that last dorp that was squeezed..

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  4. Good one!
    It's like the end line in Meet Joe Black, "Death and Taxes".
    Sorry, I should have issued a spoiler alert.

    Figured out a design for a tramp stamp? Love it!

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  5. A golden oldie! Love it!

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  6. Very appropriate joke for today!
    :+)

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  7. Good one. I should have seen that coming, but I forgot it was tax time. This is the first year I didn't procrastinate until the last minute to do my taxes.

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  8. Cute.
    I thought this was the one where the guy pees all over the bar and gets paid to do it. Good surprise.

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  9. Didn't see it coming! Funny as heck!

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  10. Good one, thankfully I got my taxes out of the way weeks ago.

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  11. Oooh don't i know how the MAN squeezes blood out of me. i wrote the check to the govt today. boo

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  12. Oh, life imitates art...

    Got some chocolate covered raisins after that? :)

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  13. That has set me up for the rest of the day.

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  14. oh yeah......that was superb.....

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  15. Should have seen that coming...grumble grumble

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