Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Our Town

Three cheers for Riverside! (Ohio, that is.)

I just had, yet again, the opportunity to see my town featured on the news.

This time it was because the Chief of Police's wife was picked up at the local mall for shoplifting. (On camera -- always good to get the whole visual!)

The last time was when the Mayor threatened, over the phone, to kill someone.

The time before that was when the City Manager used his city credit card to pay for lap dances at a local strip club.

But my very favorite, a few years back, involved the local SWAT team.

They'd been told a fugitive was hiding in a certain house, so they surrounded it. Inside, someone yelled out defiantly. They shouted back through bullhorns, ordering him to stand down. The suspect screamed back a refusal. They lobbed in tear gas canisters, breaking the windows. The suspect continued to screech rebellion.

It wasn't till the 70-something homeowner got home that they found out that their fugitive had wings and sat on a perch.

Yes, my police force, Riverside's finest, held an 18-hour standoff with a parrot.

Can I interest you in some property?

17 comments:

Real Live Lesbian said...

LMAO! That's hilarious!

Chef E said...

My hubby gets a kick reading our local Princeton news blotter, and watch out it can read just like the papers over in Ireland, Robert McCain, man of fifty ran off road in a fit of passion after his wife of twenty years hits him with favorite skillet for coming home late after office party, but their six kids were not harmed.

Your are too funny!

Comedy Goddess said...

LOL! What a hilarious crazy ass place to live! In a good way.

High Desert Diva said...

LMAO

rachael said...

You paint a sweet picture for those wishing to move to your town, sell it baby!!!! ; )

buffalodick said...

Are you sure you don't live in Springfield, next door to the Simpsons? Funny stuff today, kid!

K said...

That is just awesome.

I'm totally moving there.

CDB said...

Wow, times are tough if the Mrs. Chief is shoplifting!

Rachel Cotterill said...

That's too cool. Ours are never in the news at all!

Vodka Mom said...

omg that is CLASSIC!!!

Jan said...

That is funny.

Steven G said...

I DO encourage you all to move to DAYTON. You all know what the Wright brothers did for aviation, but do you know the truth about Orville's relationship with Katherine? Jeanne, I'm surprised. You shouldn't bait them like this. What if they learn the truth about what our people really do in the back seats of police cruisers?

Blicky Kitty said...

Awesome! What was she shoplifting? Lip gloss? Jewelry?

Maggie May said...

oh the poor chief of police!!

you have a great ear for a good story, lady!

Far Side of Fifty said...

What a funny place to live..at least you have entertainment! I loved the parrot standoff.. LOL :)

Joanna said...

Bwhahaha!! That's awesome.

Lyndsay said...

You crack me up woman! I'll tell you, we deal with the same issues here in good ole' Michigan ...

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