that I’ve done to people over the years (but only for good reasons).
1) Pretended to be dead of carbon monoxide poisoning when Mr. Right Now came back out of the store where he’d gone to run an errand. (Deserved, as he left me in an idling car after warning me he thought it was filling the cabin with carbon monoxide.)
2) Showed my four-year-old daughter pictures of our dog as a puppy and told her they were her baby pictures and that she was going to grow up to be a dog. (The good reason for this one is that 19 is far too young to have kids. Children need to reared by adults, not other children.)
3) Emptied a jug of ice water over the shower rail onto Mr. Right Now while he was relaxing in a hot shower. (Also deserved, because when we later broke up, and I told him his mom was worried that he’d live in squalor without me to take care of him he said, “Why would she worry about that? I assume I’ll be dating.” Took me a full minute to realize he meant that if he was dating, his girlfriend would clean his apartment for him.)
4) Told my little sister that her freckles looked like someone dabbed shit on her face with a paintbrush. (Also deserved, as my parents made me let her tag along everywhere after me when I was in high school ) (Okay, maybe not really deserved, but, believe me, I’ve paid for it. She brings it up at least 2 or 3 times a year, usually in front of someone I’ve just met.)
5) Coerced Old Dog into playing Charades with a crowd of his friends. This may not sound evil, and, in fact, I didn’t realize it was at the time, but he’s so shy that this actually made him physically sick. (So the real evil thing is probably blogging about this, but, in truth, haven't we all been guilty of that?)