Monday, November 1, 2010

5 Things I'm Glad I Won't Witness

Sometimes it's a drag to realize I won't be around for certain future occurrences, like the next visit from Hailey's Comet and what my grandkids' kids will be like. With other things, though, I'm actually pretty happy to think I'll be dead when they happen.


1) Gen-Xers trying to retire on what's left of Social Security by that point. Can anyone say, "Cat food meatloaf?"

2) Today's tattooed kids when they're 50. I once had a grape tattooed on my ass. It's now a raisin. (Okay, that's not really true, but it's not a pretty image, is it?)

3) The attention span of the next generation of kids.

4) The U.S. paying off our debt to China. Like that will happen. Seriously, China: take a lesson from what's going on with all the upside-down mortgages here, and with the pensions GM (stupidly) committed to paying. When the going gets tough here, we default. You've got about as much chance of getting your money back as Buffalo has of making it into the Superbowl.

5) The obesity stats in 2060. At the rate we're going, they won't fit on the page.

You always hear, "Getting old stinks, but think about the alternative."

To which I would reply, "Dying sucks, but would you really want to be around to deal with all this shit?"


  1. I've had some of those same thoughts. There are a lot of things I would like to be around to see, but plenty I will be glad to miss.

  2. "Dying sucks, but would you really want to be around to deal with all this shit?" is absolutely friggin' brilliant.

    And you make some great points. With all this texting, Tweeting, Facebooking, etc., I'm guessing we're about three generations from a society where no one ever comes into actual physical proximity of another person.

    Which, I suppose, isn't an altogether bad thing. But still.

  3. I am glad I won't live to see some of that crap either, but then I think about where will Skyler go when I am gone and realize I need to live a good long time.

  4. I'm right with you on all of those thoughts!!! Great points!

  5. That last line did crack me up! And the tattoos? You are so right about that.

  6. Re No 2: I was going to have a map of the world tattooed on my chest, but unfortunately there was only room for my street and part of the local expressway.
    Fun post. Thanks.

    All the best, Boonie

  7. Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure we'll both be around for all the yelling and high-volume issues because all the current teenagers and twenty-somethings will be deaf in 20 years from listening to their MP3 players at top volume with ear buds. Audiology is the next big thing...

  8. I am with you..somethings are just not worth living to see:)

  9. On #2 - I saw a grandmotherly looking woman at the pool the other day. At first I thought she had a bruise on her arm. Then she turned around and I saw that she had a massive tattoo on both her arms. They were gray and pasty and blurry looking. It was not a pretty. And as for those massive "tribal" holes that young men are putting in their earlobes these days, what are those thing going to look like in 20 years? - G

  10. Now girl, that's a whole pickle barrel to ponder over! Ashes to ashes...dust to dust baby!!! Heeehehe!

    God bless your beautiful day sweetie!!!

  11. I'm with you Nezzy! This post is in my top favorites! I would suggest that if we all really want to run our personal barcodes through the time scanner to see the value of our lives...stop, and remember how you feel when you are out there on the road and pass by those cemetaries. On your way from point A to point B, you cannot ignore the message they are all trying to tell you.

  12. Such a happy post, now I look forward to visiting the gym...since I doubt I will be a grandmother at this stage of my son's life, actually I do not mind, at least they are thinking of them and not themselves...okay I am going to the store and buy some cookies to make myself feel better :)

  13. oh i may need to book a train oout...these are not happy thoughts...

  14. I know what you mean. The energy crisis isn't going to be that much fun, either, and we're already seeing the beginnings of that (cf. the price of oil before the recession)

  15. I'm laughing too hard to be depressed.


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