Monday, November 1, 2010
5 Things I'm Glad I Won't Witness
Sometimes it's a drag to realize I won't be around for certain future occurrences, like the next visit from Hailey's Comet and what my grandkids' kids will be like. With other things, though, I'm actually pretty happy to think I'll be dead when they happen.
1) Gen-Xers trying to retire on what's left of Social Security by that point. Can anyone say, "Cat food meatloaf?"
2) Today's tattooed kids when they're 50. I once had a grape tattooed on my ass. It's now a raisin. (Okay, that's not really true, but it's not a pretty image, is it?)
3) The attention span of the next generation of kids.
4) The U.S. paying off our debt to China. Like that will happen. Seriously, China: take a lesson from what's going on with all the upside-down mortgages here, and with the pensions GM (stupidly) committed to paying. When the going gets tough here, we default. You've got about as much chance of getting your money back as Buffalo has of making it into the Superbowl.
5) The obesity stats in 2060. At the rate we're going, they won't fit on the page.
You always hear, "Getting old stinks, but think about the alternative."
To which I would reply, "Dying sucks, but would you really want to be around to deal with all this shit?"