Thursday, January 21, 2010

Old Joke #28

After too many months on the range, a young cowboy comes into town looking for some female companionship.

The bartender at the saloon breaks the bad news. "There ain't no women in this town."

The cowboy is aghast. "What do y'all do for sex?"

"Well," says the bartender, "if we get desperate enough, Old Man Thompson has a herd of pigs out at his place."

The cowboy stares at him in disgust.

"I'll never get that desperate," he says.

"That's what you say now," says the bartender, "but you'll change your mind."

As the cowboy gazes around the saloon, he sees all the men in the place nodding their heads in agreement.

"Never happen," he says, and stomps out the swinging doors.

When he returns to the town after his next stint on the range, though, six more womanless months have passed and the situation hasn't changed.

"Give the girls down at Old Man Thompson's a try," suggests the bartender. "Everyone else does."

"No way," says the cowboy.

Finally, though, the night before he's due to leave town for the range again, the cowboy breaks down and sneaks off to pay a visit to Old Man Thompson's. He returns to the saloon only to find the word has gotten out.

Beneath his ten-gallon hat, his face turns red.

"I thought you said all you guys do it," he says to the bartender.

"They do," said the bartender. He starts to chuckle, and the men in the bar burst into raucous laughter.

"Then what?" howls the cowboy.

"You picked the ugly one."

(There's a variation on this joke, where the barroom acts all freaked out when the cowboy returns, and the punchline is "You chose Black Bart's girl!")


  1. This reminds me of one of my favorite jokes, which kind of plays off of this classic.

    Stranger comes into desert town, that whole set-up, but Old Man Thompson has a herd of camels. The stranger scoffs, but after a few weeks is desperate, so he goes into the camel herd, picks a pretty one, takes down his pants and starts getting to business. Just then, one of the fellows from the bar comes up and is aghast.

    "What?!" the stranger asks. "You told me all the men here use the camels."

    "Yeah," the bar patron said. "We use them to ride to find women in the next town over."

  2. Nasteeee! But funny as always. I have a really vulgar tranny joke, but even I can't bring myself to write it down. I read it in a book years ago called something like "Truly Tasteless Jokes".


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