Monday, April 23, 2012

What I Learned at the 2012 Erma Bombeck Conference



1) To post lists.
People really like lists. (Actually, I'd already figured that out. But it seemed like a good starting point.)

2) Anyone who gets published these days does so one of two ways:
a) Via being a whiz at social media and having legions of followers on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Quora. (You didn't even know Quora exists? Me neither.)
b) Because of some divine accident--like someone got a look at her doodlings and carried it into a their job at the publishing house where everyone agreed her doodlings would make a bestseller.

Because, apparently, no one is getting published the old-fashioned way of writing something great and showing it to an agent who sells it to a publisher. And yet, I see new books at the library and bookstores every time I go in....

3)  Christopher Hitchens, the prominent and recently deceased atheist, is buried in the ceiling tiles of the Ballroom at the Dayton Marriott.
I know. I was surprised, too, because there was a memorial service for him yesterday at the Cooper Union in New York. But every time he was mentioned Saturday night (in the context of his statement that women have no sense of humor), the speaker would point skywards. The problem is, if Hitchens was right, there is no heaven. And if he was wrong, he doesn't get to go there. Which only leaves the ceiling tiles. (Or some theological loophole of which I'm unaware.)


4) That growing a blog is all about relationships. As Debba Haupert, of Girlfriendology.com, explained it, you need to make your blog and your Facebook and your Twitter and your I-Have-Endless-Time-to-Putz-Around-Online.com all talk to each other. (Debba had wonderful suggestions--I'm just grouchy at the idea of wasting all that time doing all that work.)

5) That, paradoxically, to grow this blog I need to pare it down.
Blogs that do well, they tell me, are a little more focused than The Raisin Chronicles. In the words of Anna Lefler:




you shouldn't click on a blog one day and it's all about politics, then go back another day to find pictures of the grandchildren. (Guilty.) Other suggestions included staying away from topics that offend people, like religion and politics. (Guilty again.)

Nettie Reynolds suggested writing about things you care about or things you know about. Your readers, she said, should trust you on this topic more than anyone else.

So, sometime soon, you'll probably see the Chronicles get a facelift, maybe even a new web address. (Although I just had these adorable business cards printed, and you KNOW how I feel about wasting stuff.)

In the meantime, I'm going to think about what (fairly narrow) topic I could talk about once a week with some degree of credibility and without boring us all to death. (If there's any topic that you often find yourself thinking, "Wow, I wish I could get Jeanne's opinion on this," let me know.)




Monday, April 16, 2012

Channeling Erma

You may have noticed that I haven't exactly been nurturing this blog lately.

I was doing okay until 2012 stomped its big, ugly feet into the room, but since then--not so much. It just feels like I don't have anything interesting or original to say.

(What's that? That was always true? Perhaps, but I wasn't aware of the fact, so it didn't count.)

Anyway, I'm going to try to recharge my batteries by attending the Erma Bombeck Writer's Workshop here in Daytonthis weekend, where I'll have the opportunity to take a lesson from the multi-talented Anna Lefler of Life Just Keeps Getting Weirder, and have her autograph my copy of CHICKtionary. 


And I'll maybe get to meet Connie Schultz, winner of the 2005 Pulitzer for Commentary. We're Facebook buddies, but I suspect that's a bigger deal to me than it is to her. Should I tell her I have a crush on her husband, Sherrod Brown? To the point where I give him money? That just the sound of his voice makes chills go down my spine? (Although that may be because his voice sounds like a blender seizing up. )

And maybe I'll meet Ilene Beckerman, who's my hero because she didn't start her writing career till she was nearly 60 and she went on to write a book, Love, Loss and What I Wore, that became a Broadway hit.

And maybe Alan Zweibel, who was one of the original Saturday Night Live writers.

And chat with Katrina Kittle, local author and a woman who's shown me what it means to get over rough ground lightly.

And I'll have a chance to just hang out with other people who want entertain and enlighten.

So cross your fingers that I come back ready to recommit to blogging.

(Or to throw in the towel, whichever outcome seems best to you.)


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