Monday, February 7, 2011

No, It's NOT the Truth

I received this email the other day and decided to respond to it here.

Ain't it the truth...




Scenario 1: Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.

1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack. They head back into the school, leaving the gun completely unattended. It may or may not be there when Jack returns, because people stole stuff, even in the 1950's.

2010 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario 2: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies, at least for the time being. Over the years, though, their enmity simmers and eventually Johnny boinks Mark’s wife (who was the subject of the fight in the first place) and destroys his family in revenge.

2010 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario 3: Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again. However, his underlying attention-deficit problems remain unresolved and he doesn’t master the material and grows up semi-literate.

2010 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The family gets extra money (SSI) from the government because Jeffrey has a disability. The good news: he at least learned to freaking read.

Scenario 4:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman who derives intense pleasure from beating his own children. The cycle is repeated through the next four or five generations.
2010 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock. Many years later, they meet up again in the cancer ward, still sharing the same drugs.
2010 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6: Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college, but still winds up cutting grass because he’s a spic and who’s going to hire a spic for a real job?
2010 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die. Johnny finds this so enjoyable he next shoves a firecracker up a cat’s ass. To this day, it's not safe to leave your pets unattended in Johnny's neighborhood.
2010 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing. The next time he falls down, it’s on a basketball court. The basketball coach comforts him with a blow job.
2010 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

This should hit every email inbox to show how stupid we have become if we really believe things were better in 1957!!


  1. I agree with your comment at the end. Couldn't resist the opportunity to be the first to comment on this blog.

  2. My only problem with the blog was that Mustangs weren't around in 1957!

    I know - picky me! Interesting blog, though. Sure makes you think twice!

  3. I have received the original version several times from my older friends who swear that everything was so much better when they were growing up. Thanks for your additions!

  4. I gotta say, I remember 1957 and it was time when liberals and conservatives could have disagreements but still have constructive dialogue instead of demeaning sound bites; fast cars cost $1000 instead of $50,000, gas was 20 cents a gallon, I never heard of heart attack or cancer, I could ride in the back of my uncles 1954 chevy pickup with my cousins on a country road and feel safe, my mom and dad were still alive and vibrant. There's a lot of good to be said about today and technology but a lot of bad when you consider deterioration of morals, the family unit, and our ability as citizens of this earth to look to care for our neighbor instead of going into our gated communities and locking our doors to feel a little safe.

  5. I wouldn't know if they were better, a few years later when I was born, I was in lock down till I graduated and moved out. My parents were so 'Do as I say, and not what I did', they made sure I was un-aware of my surrounding LOL Now my sister on the other hand...well, she tried everything, and I mean EVERYTHING!

    Gosh, do I have deep seeded anger issues with that past...

  6. I'm always mildly annoyed when I receive these. It's very easy to paint a rosey picture about the way things were, but I find that the pictures painted are rarely reality. I'll take the way things ARE thank you very much. Times certainly aren't perfect, but I still choose them over 1957.


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