Friday, January 15, 2010

Fiction Friday: It's Alive!

Okay, the good news is, my computer was just virus-infested. The computer monkey I took it to said he could fix it up for $130, or he could build me a new one for (cough!) and he'd transfer the files for free.

Who can resist a deal like that?

So, next week I'll get my quad-core machine, with 8 Gb ram and a terrabyte of storage. (Imagine that you hear those grunting/growling noises Tim Allen used to make.)

I'd tell you the price tag, but I don't want anyone snitching to Old Dog before I have a chance to break it to him in my own way, with lots of alcohol and winsome behavior.

Last Week's Winners:

Berowne: When I received the Raisin Chronicles award, I was so pleased I felt I was floating -- like Sully on the Hudson. :-)

Madtexter (Corey James): "If your body is fat, decorate it." (He says he paraphrased this from Paula Deen, but in comedy, paraphrased is a whole new joke.)

GregoryJ: My motto is: Stand up and be counted. Don't just be a number.

StevenG: List of three: Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, and the U.S. Constitution.
(My choice of Steven's multiple submissions, based on the fact that I found this one the funniest. Another one, about his wife's blue jeans, was a lovely compliment to her but not, I think, intended as a joke. Or, if it was, then NOT a compliment, and she should chase him around with a frying pan.)

walk2write: This is the year I lighten up and let myself go. Now there's a contradiction for you from someone who wants to shed about 15 pounds!

Nice work, everyone!

Next Week's Prompt:

I'd like to try this again, with more specific direction. For next week, finish out one of the lists below with something that doesn't match and, consequently, strikes you as funny.

1) The butcher, the baker and....
2) Wynken, Blynken and....
3) Baseball, apple pie and....
4) Diamonds, emeralds and ....
5) Cats, dogs and....
6) Ford Mustangs, Chevy Camaros and....
7) England, France and....
8) Lawyers, guns and....
9) Celery, carrots and....
10) Candles, champagne and....


  1. My first thought when I read the prompts:

    Candles, champagne and unplanned pregnancy.

    Guess I still have a bit of baby brain.

    Have a great weekend.

  2. I'm always so short on time that I never get to play along, but here I am, on a Friday, with a short challenge and a few minutes. Yay!

    2) Wynken, Blynken, and that girl with the buggy eyes.

    3) Baseball, apple pie, and an overdeveloped sense of entitlement.

    5) Cats, dogs, and my baby brother

    9) Celery, carrots, and an old leather shoe
    (I'm not overly pleased with that cliche, but I think it gets the joke across without the beginning of "I'd guess the soup was made of..." If I can put it in the context of the joke, I'd go with celery, carrots, and dirty cardboard.)

  3. Jeanne, I tagged you to play along... please?

  4. 1) The butcher, the baker and a syphilitic old Quaker.
    2) Wynken, Blynken and Charo.
    3) Baseball, apple pie and reality television.
    4) Diamonds, emeralds and implants.
    5) Cats, dogs and a side of onion rings.
    6) Ford Mustangs, Chevy Camaros and receding hairlines.
    7) England, France and a pair of dad's pants.
    8) Lawyers, guns and a two-hour shootout would be awesome.
    9) Celery, carrots and a chocolate covered Twinkie.
    10) Candles, champagne and Sandra Bullock. Okay, those three DO go my dreams.

  5. Okay, another one:

    7) (That was the summer I saw) England, France, and Trina Johnson's underpants.

  6. Baseball, apple pie and -- steroids.

  7. Hooray! Here's to your new and expensive super-computer.

    Wynken, Blinken, and Nicolas Sarkozy. They're all midgets, right?

  8. You guys are too clever for me. My brain is in slo-mo today.

  9. 1) The butcher, the baker and the undertaker

    2) Wynken, Blynken and Helen Keller

    3) Baseball, apple pie and Malcom X

    4) Diamonds, emeralds and Barney Frank

    5) Cats, dogs and Vietnamese food

    6) Ford Mustangs, Chevy Camaros and cash for clunkers

    7) England, France and power bidets

    8) Lawyers, guns and Moses

    9) Celery, carrots and wabbits

    10) Candles, champagne and vaseline

  10. Glad to hear the good news! Although the price tag is not always so pretty!

  11. The butcher, the baker and my mother??
    2) Wynken, Blynken and her brother
    3) Baseball, apple pie and deep sea diving
    4) Diamonds, emeralds and bus driving
    5) Cats, dogs and walnuts
    7) England, France and bare butts
    9) Celery, carrots and mustard
    10) Candles, champagne and busted

  12. Too bad about the computer virus. It really sucks that people deliberately cause others so many problems and cost just to satisfy their own ego.

  13. You have that so right. Roar.....


  14. Oh the answers you've already got are way cleverer than anything my bloated sinus filled brain can conjure. Great answers!

  15. Yeah for a new hyper quad core computer!

  16. The butcher, the baker, and that unemployed bloke - you know, the one who never quite managed to diversify when the villagers all had enough candlesticks to go around twice.

  17. I'm always hoping my computer gets 'the cure' overnight...sometimes it actually happens...right...

    'Computer monkey'...I like that!!!


  18. I looked over the list and wrote down what ever popped into my head.

    2) Wynken, Blynken, and the men that loved them.

    3) Baseball, apple pie, and a punch in the eye.

    5) Cats, dogs, and the people that mate them.

    8) Lawyer, guns, and the guillotine.

  19. These are all so funny! Can I try?

    1) The butcher, the baker and Feng Shui Director

    2) Wynken, Blynken and Turducken

    3) Baseball, apple pie and breast implants

    4) Diamonds, emeralds and QVC

    5) Cats, dogs and Nutria

    6) Ford Mustangs, Chevy Camaros and mullets

    7) England, France and Uranus

    8) Lawyers, guns and the Conservatory

    9) Celery, carrots and giraffes

    10) Candles, champagne and Erik Estrada


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