Monday, December 21, 2009

A Tale of Two Cities - Revisited

(I originally posted this last January. Last week, my step-daughter called to say she had my tickets for this year's outing. I'm won't let them ditch me this year.)

We arrive at the zoo on Saturday for the big Festival of Lights and I call my step-daughter to arrange a rendezvous.

“As soon as we find a bathroom for Kylie,” I say, “we’ll meet you at the Elephant House.

Shay tells me where the bathroom is (to the right of the entrance and down the hill) and, using these very misleading directions, we eventually find a toilet.

Potty break dealt with, we climb back up the hill to the Asian rotunda that has always housed the elephants. No sign of Shay. I call her again.

“Where are you?” she says.

"I’m standing next to the Elephant House, across from the new Forest exhibit."

“What Forest exhibit?” she says. “We’re right outside the Asian Experience.”

It can’t just be the Elephant House anymore, no, now it has to be the "Asian Experience."

“I’m standing next to the wooden polar bear cutout, with the signs pointing to Santa’s Holiday Village and the North Pole Post Office,” I say.

“Stay where you are,” she says. “I’ll send Jeff to find you.”

So I wait. And I wait. In the meantime, Bill and Kylie make a circuit around the Elephant House. (Four-year-olds are lousy at waiting and fifty-four year olds aren’t much better.)

Ten minutes later, Shay calls back.

“Where are you?” she asks again. “Can you see the North American Habitat?”

“I’m right by the entrance,” I say. “You know, big sign, PNC Bank Festival of Lights.”

“PNC Bank? American Electric is sponsoring this.”

“Not in Cincinnati.”

“Well, they are in Columbus.”

I pause a moment while that sinks in.

“We’re going to stop looking for you now,” I say. “Enjoy yourselves.”

All night long, Old Dog made Kylie hold my hand “so Grandma won’t get lost.”

I still say we would have been fine if we’d just made it to the right city.


  1. I'm just glad you managed to find a potty...

  2. I should have seen where that was going from your title, but I didn't. I hope you are all "enlightened" about where you are going to see Zoo Lights this year.

  3. Wow what a story, how did that happen!

  4. I remember this story, and enjoyed it eminently! Not that I found you lost as funny...just sayin!

  5. How did I miss this last year? Hilarious!

  6. are you totally? I'm speechless. Sounds kinda like you were too, at the time.

  7. That is so funny, well at least your found the bathroom!

  8. You are one, hot gramma! Being really cool is ageless- and you got it!

  9. Next time, tell them you'll meet them in St. Louis!

  10. Great and fun tale, though I imagine that it wasn't the same for you and your family then. :-)

    Greetings from London.

  11. My best wishes to you and your family for a very Merry Christmas!


  12. Oh, no! I hope you had a good time anyway.


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