Friday, September 18, 2009

Fiction Friday: Character Studies

This Week's Winners


Bob Hannah was the kind of guy who hated palindromes, hated them backward and forward.

I just love this one – it's perfectly in line with my sense of humor.

He was that special kind of douchebag, the kind who would take his mother to dinner for her birthday and then stick her with the check.

This one is great because of the voice. With a mere 26 words Chris has given us not only a character, but opened to door to a noir world of private dicks and beautiful but treacherous dames. Pure economy.

Steven G

He was the kind of person you just wanted to help.

In a world of bad things and bad people, he would always go out of his way to show kindness and interest in anyone else who also needed a helping hand.
At the tragic end of his young life, many of those whose lives he had touched gathered around to be with him to the very end.

He softly answered, “I’d like you to give my love to my friends and my family.”

The question, of course, was, “Do you have any final words to say, Mr.Bundy?”

What can I say? This is vintage Steven G – you, sir, are one dark dude.


She was the kind of person who would be dead within a year of retiring, her entire sense of self having been erased once there was nowhere to go and no one to care.

Maybe because I’m approaching that time of life myself, this one really caught my attention. I don’t feel that way about retirement – I love working at the clinic, but would be thrilled to have 24 hours a day to spend blogging, writing, walking – but I’m interested in this alternative view.

Frogs in My Formula

He/She was the kind of person/man/woman who really needed to go ahead and get the sex operation.

Clever, very clever to take my prompt and turn it around on me. Touche.

Next Week’s Prompt

Instead of providing a prompt, I want to do a different kind of exercise. For anyone who wants to play along, pick any one of the above character sketches and give us a physical description that reveals the same information about the character.


At first glance her legs looked great, but her ankles kept giving way, making it clear that her size twelve feet weren’t used to mincing down the boulevard in heels.


  1. I love Frogs in My Formula "He/She, man, woman" the best! (Because I didn't have to go back to understand it. I just burst laughing).

  2. PurestGreen really caught my attention also. I don't anticipate retirement being that dramatic for me, but the life change needs to be thought through. I'm the kind of person who would prefer to see myself as no longer working, not as retired.

  3. Thanks for the compliment! I'm honored. And looking back, I really could've gotten the douchebag one down to 25 words. "Then" is not required.

    I loved the sex change one. Very clever.

    I'll get to this week's contest over the weekend.

    Love this place!

  4. We're having fun again!

    I've never been called "vintage" before. That means alot coming from someone in your age group!


  5. One October Evening

    She was standing outside of Antonio’s Pizza shivering.
    I circled the block, slowed to a stop and asked, “Do you need a ride, Miss?”
    She smiled and said, “That’s a cute car! My name’s Sherrie. What’s yours?“ “Dave” I replied.

    Forty-five minutes later she was all over me. She was doused in White Diamonds and her lipstick was so thick and waxy, I considered using my handkerchief to wipe it off instead of continuing to taste it as we kissed. I don’t mind swallowing anything from a classy dame, but something that night made me think she wasn’t just an innocent church girl who had lost her way.

    She fumbled with my belt and I helped her. She was clumsy and her knees banged against the glove box knob as she pulled my hand down to the sweet spot. Then it happened. At 55 miles per hour in the swervy black night on a country road, I was squeezing a man’s crotch, not a ladies’. Ahhhh...SHIT!

    “YOU GODDAMN FREAK!!! Get outta the goddamn car! I punched her twice and jerked the car to the side of the road. SSSSsssssccccrrrereeeeeeeeeeeechh…..eeeeeereeeeerrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!…..Thump! Her head hit the windshield of my Volkswagen Beetle and her wig hung stupidly off the side of her head.

    I opened her door and shoved her out onto the dirt, putting the Bug in 1st gear…ready to split.

    She was crying, holding her face, sobbing and pleaded with me to give her a chance. “Oh Davey, Davey, let me do you….You’ll like it, I promise! Let me do you right now!!!”

    I got out of the car, jumped on her and screamed, “MY NAME ISN’T DAVEY! And your name isn’t goddamn SHERRIE! WHAT”S YOUR NAME YOU FAGGOT? WHAT’S YOUR FUCKING NAME?” I grabbed her collar and looked at her with my most powerful stare…pulling her so close to me that I could see the veins on her eyeballs pulsating. (This is the point where I never ever, ever blink. It’s a very effective secret…..especially at close range!) They never blink either at this moment. Never!

    She blubbered, “My name is…Bob…Bob Hannah…what’s yours?
    I looked around, glanced at my watch, and said, “Ah hell, get in the car, goddamn it. “
    She was straightening her blonde wig, breathing heavy and now smiling as we drove away.

    “So what’s your real name?” she asked?
    “Oh………, my name is Ted. Just call me Ted.”


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