Sunday, June 28, 2009

Twelve Wonderful Years

Today (yesterday, by the time this is posted) is Old Dog's and my 12th anniversary.

Although not without its share of difficult times, our marriage has been singularly blessed. We talked about celebrating by going out to dinner, but wound up hitting a National Chain That Shall Remain Nameless for breakfast instead.

This NCTSRN is divided up into sections, all of which belly up to a food buffet. The sections are divided by walls inset with cute little windows. Through one of these windows, I saw that the section next to us, the last one at our end of the restaurant, had emptied out and a waitress was cleaning.

Armed with a rag, a bucket and a blue aerosol can, she was wiping down walls. She'd set the bucket and the can on each table, climb onto a chair, and then scrub the wall abover her head. When she was done, she'd pull out the blue can and spray a some kind of mist, with the same abandon that was once employed by women cementing a beehive hairdo into permanence with FinalNet. The mist fell, like a low-hanging cloud, onto everything below.

Figuring it was some generic brand of disinfectant, I waited for her to turn the label my way. About 5,000 cc's of mystery mist later, she finally did, and I discovered it wasn't, in fact, a generic item, it was a brand name:


Old Dog and I were about the only people in our section, but the fresh fruit and salad bars just happened to be at our end of the restaurant, too.

Of course I chatted with the manager. What I really wanted was my money back, but I accepted a business card comping us for two future meals. (Cause you never know when Hell might freeze over.) Then the manager headed off to confiscate Clara Clean-up's blue can.

As for Old Dog and me, we did what anyone would do after being doused with Raid.

We bugged out.


  1. Eeeeeeeeeeew. As I was reading, I was waiting to hear she was using bleach spray or something toxic. But not Raid!! Dear God!

    Um, happy anniversary?

  2. Leaves you dying to go back. . .now doesn't it????

  3. OMG how horrible and I would have left with my money and not a comp card...
    Sorry for the dinner out....

    Happy 12th Congratulations

  4. Disgusting. And you know that stuff wafted over all the food in that section of the buffet. You should have made a BIG stink, and got everyone to ask for their money back.

    I doubt that one person's complaints will change policy there - I think I'd send off an email to the national headquarters.

  5. aw god!! what a crapper. but 12 years? that is fucking awesome. i hope you had crazy sexy sex :)

  6. Congratulations on 12 years! It makes you wonder what might go on behind the scenes that we never know about. I loved your line about hell freezing over. You are a real sport for not naming the establishment in your post.

  7. Happy Anniversary!!! Sorry about the lousy restaurant experience. That was disgusting.

  8. That is hilarious and awful at the same time! Kind of how I feel about my married days...

  9. Two free meals my ass! I'd call the local inspector of such facilities, and explain exactly what you saw...

  10. Eeeeeeeeeeew indeed. So much for going out to eat. There's no place like home.

  11. Most restaurants have certain chemicals they are suppose to use according to health codes, and I do believe that one is off limits...many restaurants cheat and use chemicals they are not suppose to chef experience rant for the day :) Now I am bugging out...oh, and the description...I think I know which chain...eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...I banned that place soooooooo many years ago...

  12. First of all, Happy anniversary! Second of all, what was she thinking of?! Third of all, good quick thinking on YOUR part!!

  13. Wonder if there were any creepy crawlers in your breakfast? Just checkin.

  14. As a cancer survivor, that totally freaks me out. I avoid posions going into my system as much as possible.

  15. Raid! Seriously...

    Happy 12th anniversary. Congrats.

  16. Forgot to say "Happy Anniversary"! Stay out of restaurants and make it to thirteen.... please!

  17. Oh, man. That's classic. Some people just don't know do they?

    I wished you'd snapped a pix of that. Although your description immediately transported me there.

    Happy Anniversary!

  18. There's a poem of mine you simply have to read here:

    Happy, Happy Anniversary!


    Yikes! Head for the hills!


  19. LOL, Jeanne...that is hilarious. Your are a good writer. :)

  20. wonderful - what a funny name you gave him "old dog!"

    great diner then and, as I feel, even greater after diner


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