Today, a sampling from Ambrose Bierce, author of The Devil's Dictionary.
Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
Enough, adj: Too much.
Famous, adj: Conspicuously miserable.
Lawsuit: A machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
War: God's way of teaching Americans geography.