Fashion Makes the Man

Last weekend Kylie was busily coloring when Old Dog came through the kitchen. She looked him over thoughtfully.

"Grandpa, why do you always wear the same clothes?"

He doesn't really.

It just looks that way to the untrained eye.

The True Meaning of Christmas

Last weekend, Kylie (age 6) and her little brother came to visit while Mom went to look for a car. I put them to work helping me decorate our Christmas tree. As we hung ornaments, Kylie told me stories about various friends at school and I soon noticed a theme. Whenever someone had misbehaved she would say, virtuously, "They don't know the true meaning of Christmas." After about the third iteration, I said, "What is the true meaning of Christmas?" Her face took on a trapped look and her eyes darted around the room. It was clear she hadn't expected a quiz. "Being good on Christmas Eve, so you'll get your presents," she blurted out. Hmm. We may need to work on that.

High Five!

Celebrating a few good things here at the Chronicles: 1) Congress (finally) repealed Don't Ask Don't Tell. As of today, we're officially willing to let gays die for their country. You kids go take a few bullets for us and who knows? someday we may even let you get married. 2) Tomorrow is the winter solstice. Those of you who live closer to the equator probably don't understand what the big deal is, but we who dwell in the not-so-much-daylight-at-this-time-of-year latitudes will be happy to see the days starting to lengthen again. By the way, I totally buy into the story of Demeter and Persephone. It's the only explanation that really makes sense. I used to sing "You Are My Sunshine" to my daughter when she was little. If someone had taken her away for six months at a time, my sunlight would have gone with her. 3) Tomorrow is also my mother's birthday. Were she still alive, she would have been 88 years old. She was a great believer in self-reliance ("'I am the captain of my ship, the master of my destiny,'" she'd quote to us.), a great disbeliever in whining ("I'd feel sorry for you, but you seem to be doing an adequate job of that on your own.") and a thorough pragmatist ("If there's something you have to do, and there's no way to get out of it, do it gracefully.") I'm trying, Mama.

5 Things I'm Over

On Friday, Stacy over at Anymommy posted a list of things she's over. She asked readers to post their own lists in her comments, but I decided to put mine here, instead. If you have a list you'd like to share, post it in the comments or provide a link to your blog. (Nothing like a little pre-Christmas rant to get you in the holiday spirit.) 1) Political systems that reward decisions that help representatives get re-elected, as opposed to decisions that move the country forward. 2) Rich people who believe they should carry a lighter share of the tax burden because, if they wanted to, they could take that extra money and create jobs with it. 3) Poor people who believe they should be able to live middle-class lifestyles without going to work every day. 4) Workers who believe they should be able to work for 30 years, then sit on their butts for another 30. (Unless they manage to save up enough money to be self-supporting for 15 or 20 of that. Which is nearly impossible to do on the average salary, which, in turn, is why neither the government nor individual employers can afford to subsidize that option.) 5) People, in general, who believe you can make selfish, self-indulgent choices forever and never pay the piper. And if you think that's not happening, I refer you to item 1. (I'm a tiny bit peeved over what's going on in Washington. Can you tell?) And a happy Monday morning to you!

Happy is the Man

As I approach the final pages of my new novel, it's gotten me to thinking about marriage and how, here in the U.S. anyway, the marriages we generally view as "happy" are the ones where the man publicly claims to be henpecked. He indulges and caters to his wife, and mock-complains (or claims to be too terrified to protest) his fate. In the world outside his home, he may command dozens of people, but inside he's not even allowed to pick out wallpaper. On the other hand, if the situation is reversed, if the wife complains how the man wears the pants and makes all the decisions, we view it as a less happy marriage. I wonder why that is? I think it has to do with power. Because men typically have both the financial power and the physical power in a relationship, there's a gentle majesty in allowing the smaller, weaker party to make binding decisions, kind of like those trainers who lead huge bears around on little chains. We know the bear could, with one swipe of his paw, end the tyranny, and we view it as a measure of the strength of the connection between the two that he doesn't do that. I wonder if there's any correlation between the longevity of a marriage (which, of course, doesn't actually measure marital happiness, but it's the closest measure I can think of) and who makes the domestic decisions? What do you think? And, for those of you who come from other cultures, how do things work in your world?